Uberman Update Three

26 Jul

So, uhh, you don’t get logs for today, because I didn’t do them. Not proper ones. I’ll tell you what happened, though.

My first nap didn’t go so well. I’m not sure what time I got up (though I am sure that it was well after five, when my alarm is set) because as soon as I was up I was down, in a sense. Down out of the loft, down sitting in my chair, and down mentally. Really down. It must have been somewhere around seven, though, because I went down for another nap fairly soon after.

A note on nap one- I think I have to sleep on the floor. So far, that’s the only way I’ve been able to get up… Right next to the speakers that sound the waking call. I’m working on finding a way of maybe getting a speaker in my loft that I can put there just temporarily… I can’t figure myself out, though; if it’s the proximity that wakes me up, shouldn’t I wake up when I go down the ladder and turn the alarm off while completely asleep? I’m just as close… No, even closer to the speakers when I’m down there.

Anyway.

I was a little more conscious after the 08:00 nap… Not fully awake, though. Since I’ve been messing with my system period, and since I think my body still thinks it’s sort of on the Everyman (what with the accidental addition of a ‘core nap’ around four for three out of four nights), my awareness has shifted. Normally I would be awake and alert during the day (and out at night, obviously). Perhaps overclocked a bit, given that I’ve taken to staying up to the first few wee hours and sleeping until ten or so, lately. However, with the Everyman deception, as I will creatively name it, I’ve started being fully awake all the way from between 08:00 and 10:00 up until at least 02:00, if not further. I generally start to conk out around 03:30, which is bad, considering I’m trying to stray away from the Everyman. Not that it’s necessarily bad per se, but it’s not what I’m aiming for.

Leaving that thought process, though… Overall, today was not a bad day. Even though I overslept again, for some reason I’m not really mad at myself. I have been making progress in other areas, which may be the reason. Like I said, I know I’ve been getting REM because of the dreams. I don’t know that I could say exactly what I’ve been dreaming – I very rarely can – but I know the dreams are happening, and that’s something, at least. Another sleep-related thing- there have been more time effects. When I go down for a nap, even though it’s been only a half hour or forty minutes since I last saw the world, it feels as if it’s been many, many hours. This could be because of the expectations my body has been trained to have about the length of a day and its composition – that is, if there is a period of time in which I sleep for a time and am awake for a time, that’s a day, and I expect to have slept for eight hours or so and to have been awake for sixteen. Perhaps the effect is because while I’m fully mentally active during the awake parts of these little four-hour cycles and can disregard my body’s preference for a double-digit-hour day, I’m not conscious during the sleeping parts, and as such my judgement is overridden by habit. Surprisingly, the shorter the time that I’ve slept, the longer it seems to have been… For example, when my naps get cut down to twenty-five minutes (for whatever reason), I feel as if I’ve been sleeping a lot longer than after a half-hour nap. This is true down to five minutes, even- if I fall partially asleep and then am awoken (luckily this isn’t happening anymore, but when I was taking hourlong naps and having trouble with it, it did) after about, say, ten minutes, it feels like a whole half day has passed. It’s rather disorienting to see sunshine when you don’t expect it…

So far, I haven’t seen much in the way of mental acuity being heightened or increases in energy. It’s more like I’ve heard Bucky Fuller says – I have two energy tanks, and I used to regularly deplete both, whereas now I just empty and refill the first. There’s not much in the way of science in that statement, but it seems to have been working just the way that it suggests it would, so I’m happy.

However. I did catch a whiff of what I’ve heard whisperings of- that heightened sense of time and space and self due to all the REM. People have talked about feeling the world ‘slow down’… And not only in a general way because of the number of hours in the day being augmented, but even down to specific situations like catching a ball. (Supposedly the ball would seem to slow in the air, allowing one to catch it more easily.) I know it seems hokey, but bear with me; walking out of Leddy tonight I felt for a great deal of the time it took to traverse the walkway that everything had been tweaked somehow. A jogger crossed my path, and it was like I could suddenly watch her and watch everything else simultaneously and do it well– I saw her muscles moving and arms pumping and chest heaving but I also checked for our license plate on all the cars that were likely to be my ride, and saw my mother waiting in the car after I identified the right one, and heard the wind rustling the leaves in all the trees around me, and let two bikers go by me with a polite ‘Excuse me,’ and saw somebody coming up the path behind me… All within a few seconds. I haven’t had the experience since. It’s a sort of clarity that came in sharp contrast with the fact that I dearly need new glasses; almost as if I had replaced them and could see 20-20 again.

Other than that, though, and various little quirks that I’ve been meaning to jot down (never got around to it, sadly), this Uberman think is actually becoming pretty normal.

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