Tag Archives: humour

Oh, Megle…

3 Apr

Stranger: Did u get the package?
You: I did. I signed for it, didn’t you get your receipt?
Stranger: No my ninjas didn’t give me 1
You: Ahh, yes. Sorry. I should have known when the clipboard just appeared in my hands that I was dealing with ninjas.
You: I haven’t opened it yet, per the instructions on the outside.
You: Should I do so now?
Stranger: Yes they are very stealthy.. Yes
You: Alright.
Stranger: Was it what u wanted?
You: … Father, why would you send me a rubber chicken?
You: It is what I wanted, but why would you of all people send it to me?
You: You know I’m deathly allergic.
Stranger: I thought I would help u overcome your allergic reaction to chickens and if u died you would come back as a zombie
You: Father, my throat is closing up…
You: I don’t think I can last much longer.
You: You see what you’ve done?
You: Your only son…
Stranger: U are now turning into a zombie muhahahaha
You: What do we want? BRAINS
You: When do we want ’em? BRAINS
Stranger: Chicken’s brain .. Now!
You: You were right to send me the rubber chicken, Father.
You: Its poor brain cured my zombiehood when I ate it.
Stranger: Yes I knew it would help u and it’s also helping my world domination
You: That’s wonderful, Father! I’m so glad you’re funding your efforts with rubber chicken sales.
Stranger: Yes it is very interesting how the sales keep going up in ratings
You: Your marketing department must be having a fit.
You: Are you going to expand?
Stranger: Yes, I am
You: To what?
Stranger: The world’s largest chicken corporation.
You: Only rubber, father, or are you actually planning on – gasp! – real chickens?
Stranger: Real chickens muhahahahahaahaha
You: I don’t know if I can stand the shock… Father, I must lie down. Forgive me if I leave you.
Stranger: Do not worry, son.
You: We will speak again soon… But for now… I bid you farewell.
Stranger: Son!! Do not leave me!!!!!
You: I must, Father, my poor head can’t take the stress.
Stranger: Son, rest for now. u will awake at dawn.
You: Thank you, Father. Goodbye.

Hold On A Second

6 Feb

Whee!

Ivy’s Blog

3 Feb

Just an image and such... Hello, curious people who look for this!

Just To Enlighten

11 Jan

Left-handed comics (drawn by right-handed people)

Thought Process Plus

7 Dec

Beep. Beep. Nggh. Beep. Beep.

Bee-beep. I’m- Bee-beep. Getting- Bee-beep. Up, would- Bee-beep. SHUT-

Bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-
Why-the-hell-is-this-stupid-thing-on-another-floor-ahhhh.

Okay, getting up. I told you, stupid alarm. Now… Towel? Check. No, no check. Grab it. Legs? Check. Yeah, got ’em right here.

Why are you so stupid in the morning? says brain.

Okay, got my towel and my legs. So shower time, right? Go, head for the shower. Okay, legs. Okay, towel.

It’s really more like you’re stupid at night, brain continues. I mean, you’re the one that did this. Stayed up half the night tripping on the internet. For what, Kristen?

Shut up, brain. Legs, go. Legs, why are you not going. Legs, do not carry me to couch-sleep-warm. Legs, why did you entice arms to pick up the shirt?

Ohh, says heart and nose at the same time. Brain begins to object, but heart shuts brain down, which is enough to make me fall asleep again and be satisfied. He was really bothering me.

Ears are curious. Ears do not let the matter sleep. Ears investigate, and soon report to heart and nose, which are the only of me still running.

It’s because dad’s taking a shower! report ears in a chipper tone that is way out of line for this early in the morning. I let it slide, though, because next they say is, You’re fine for a while. Heart likes that.

Nose just keeps providing chemical receptors with love.



















Shower is off, report ears. Time to get up! Clunk goes the settling of the little knob that keeps the water in. ‘Kay, really time now, say ears, gently, but firmly.

No, please, says heart. Yes, please, says brain, who has been awoken. Good job, ears.

What? Oh, yeah. Up… Up up up. Hey, I’m up! Good body. Shower! Legs, onward. Whoa. Shower. Towel. Back for towel. Now shower.

Dad’s gone. Into bathroom. Drop towel-cold. Okay, into shower please now.

Turn on shower. Eww, wet curtain.

Knock! What? “What?” No answer.

Knock! What?!-shut-up-I-got-this-far- “Yeah?”

“Mmmgfbshbblarghasbjeleddoday.”

What? Well, it sounded positive. Open the door a little. “What?”

“School is cancelled today.”

What? No it’s not, moron, I checked for snow, and there wasn’t any. “What?”

“There was a small fire next to the industrial building, and school is canc- just at CVU.”

I guess that makes sen- Wait. No school? No school! Hooray!

“Oh, okay.”

Heart makes a faint bid for a shirt or maybe biking to a different school district, Because they have school, and it’s not really fair, it says craftily.

Brain starts churning and wonders if I could finish a present or two today. We can’t waste this, it says.

But sleep.

Pin The Tail

1 Nov

I come in peace, proclaiming that I will not really be blogging much for about a month. NaNoWriMo is upon us, and I shall have little enough time as it is.

I bring a hilarious picture to pacify you.

Looks like Mom and Dad’s love for each other is infectious…

Have a good month!

A Look 10/29/09

29 Oct

Don't use bathroom humour. That crap just isn't funny.