Tag Archives: school

How I Have Been Different

11 Feb

– gained ten pounds & some-odd noticeable inches
– stopped wearing jewelry (have started again)
– started wearing the same thing all the time
– started avoiding eye contact
– added roughly forty gut-wrenching songs to music library
– began to sift through previous past
– memory loss
– started avoiding mirrors
– negativity
– started inactively [but noticeably] avoiding sleep
– huge grade drop; loss of comprehension and slash or concentration
– loss of writing
– gain in casual musical experience
– [ironic] decrease in tolerance for intolerance
– started to cry when well-enough immersed in any story
– loss in retention
– obsession with past
– skepticism
– idiocy slash loss of the Right Thing To Do

Just Thought I’d Show You

23 Apr

These are two of the most badass graphs I’ve ever seen.

A graph of the factorial function

The factorial function…

A graph of the inverse of the factorial function

And the inverse of the factorial function.

I didn’t even know there was a factorial function. There are so many things about this that are morally wrong.


Could You

26 Jan

Petty, that is.

I don’t break down.

At least, I don’t break down like anyone I know.

98/125. My brain – of course, now equipped to do math – tells me this is around 4/5. An eighty. No, less; slightly less- but I’m not going to even think that pointy number that comes ten below an eighty.

You failed, a voice tells me as I walk numbly down the hall. I’m exaggerating; all of this is less, another one says.

I don’t want to hear voices. I want to get above one hundred in a one hundred twenty-five-point test, is all. I want things to be simple; I want to succeed a little, at least; I want some things in life to go away; I want a rewind button;

I want some fucking sleep.

Thought Process Plus

7 Dec

Beep. Beep. Nggh. Beep. Beep.

Bee-beep. I’m- Bee-beep. Getting- Bee-beep. Up, would- Bee-beep. SHUT-


Okay, getting up. I told you, stupid alarm. Now… Towel? Check. No, no check. Grab it. Legs? Check. Yeah, got ’em right here.

Why are you so stupid in the morning? says brain.

Okay, got my towel and my legs. So shower time, right? Go, head for the shower. Okay, legs. Okay, towel.

It’s really more like you’re stupid at night, brain continues. I mean, you’re the one that did this. Stayed up half the night tripping on the internet. For what, Kristen?

Shut up, brain. Legs, go. Legs, why are you not going. Legs, do not carry me to couch-sleep-warm. Legs, why did you entice arms to pick up the shirt?

Ohh, says heart and nose at the same time. Brain begins to object, but heart shuts brain down, which is enough to make me fall asleep again and be satisfied. He was really bothering me.

Ears are curious. Ears do not let the matter sleep. Ears investigate, and soon report to heart and nose, which are the only of me still running.

It’s because dad’s taking a shower! report ears in a chipper tone that is way out of line for this early in the morning. I let it slide, though, because next they say is, You’re fine for a while. Heart likes that.

Nose just keeps providing chemical receptors with love.

Shower is off, report ears. Time to get up! Clunk goes the settling of the little knob that keeps the water in. ‘Kay, really time now, say ears, gently, but firmly.

No, please, says heart. Yes, please, says brain, who has been awoken. Good job, ears.

What? Oh, yeah. Up… Up up up. Hey, I’m up! Good body. Shower! Legs, onward. Whoa. Shower. Towel. Back for towel. Now shower.

Dad’s gone. Into bathroom. Drop towel-cold. Okay, into shower please now.

Turn on shower. Eww, wet curtain.

Knock! What? “What?” No answer.

Knock! What?!-shut-up-I-got-this-far- “Yeah?”


What? Well, it sounded positive. Open the door a little. “What?”

“School is cancelled today.”

What? No it’s not, moron, I checked for snow, and there wasn’t any. “What?”

“There was a small fire next to the industrial building, and school is canc- just at CVU.”

I guess that makes sen- Wait. No school? No school! Hooray!

“Oh, okay.”

Heart makes a faint bid for a shirt or maybe biking to a different school district, Because they have school, and it’s not really fair, it says craftily.

Brain starts churning and wonders if I could finish a present or two today. We can’t waste this, it says.

But sleep.


2 Oct

In a very long line of images.

Today, I don't have any diseases, I have all five of my senses, I don't have to fear for my life, my family loves me, I have wonderful friends who support me, I'm not doing horribly in college, my stomach is full, I'm wearing clothes, I have a secure job, I'm intelligent, and I'm beautiful. Oh, and it's Sunday - new PostSecrets are up. MyLifeIsG.

It just strikes me that there are so many beautiful things in this world that we fail to see. There’s a perfectly good reason for that, too – the same that causes people to get in trouble more than they get recognised for doing things correctly, and the same that makes the news so bloody. But regardless – I, too, do not have any diseases, have all of my senses, do not have to fear for my life, have a loving family, have wonderful friends, am not doing too horribly in my studies, have a full stomach, am wearing clothes, and am intelligent.

I wouldn’t call myself beautiful, and I don’t have a regular or secure job – but I have a loving partner, a tolerant attitude, a good outlook on life, and a fantastic school to go to to make up for those two tiny downsides.

I’m doing well. For some reason, today I feel just fine. Not freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional fine – but just fine. Good. Peaceful.

MLIG. And for once, it’s just good.

A Look 9/27/09

27 Sep

Look; I've tried. And yes, it <i>can</i> be fun at times, and it's always very poetic, but when you get right down to it, overall: I hate rain! It's just way too depressing.

I’ve calmed down. Today wasn’t too bad.

Another week ahead…


15 Sep


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