Tag Archives: sleep

How I Have Been Different

11 Feb

– gained ten pounds & some-odd noticeable inches
– stopped wearing jewelry (have started again)
– started wearing the same thing all the time
– started avoiding eye contact
– added roughly forty gut-wrenching songs to music library
– began to sift through previous past
– memory loss
– started avoiding mirrors
– negativity
– started inactively [but noticeably] avoiding sleep
– huge grade drop; loss of comprehension and slash or concentration
– loss of writing
– gain in casual musical experience
– [ironic] decrease in tolerance for intolerance
– started to cry when well-enough immersed in any story
– loss in retention
– obsession with past
– skepticism
– idiocy slash loss of the Right Thing To Do

Uberman Update Five

30 Jul

Two important notes:

  1. Gaming is ruining my life. I will no longer play unless at least one if not both of these qualifiers have been met:
    1. If it is two in the morning or something similar and I will sleep if my brain is not engaged with cheap entertainment.
    2. More importantly, if I have done something productive during the cycle and have more than a half hour left of free time.
    3. Scratch that, three qualifiers: If I have both showered and, if not exercised, at least made an effort or a plan to do so in the near future.
  2. This may not be working. I know when to cut my losses, and I can be healthy, despite some people’s doubts. I do know what I’m doing, guys. And if trust in that fails you, know that my body knows what it’s doing for certain. If I actually need sleep – in the real sense of the word – my body will sleep. I can’t train it out of that. This is only mildly successful because my body is tolerating my escapades so far. If it doesn’t anymore, I’ll stop. Say… In the space of three or four weeks, I must have a full fifteen naps in a row – two and a half days, or sixty hours – go perfectly.

I haven’t been keeping logs today- I’ll try to do them later, but I’m going out for a college visit in a few seconds. Ta!

Uberman Log, Day Nine

30 Jul

And by the way, I’m definitely not doing half-day posts. (For the record: Yesterday’s latter half was uneventful.) It’s nice for getting a post out at the end of the day – the same day that I post it on (the daylong buffer has always gotten to me) – but for some reason I don’t like doing the followup as much as I like doing the first part, and overall, I like doing them together much better.

As for logs for yesterday: You don’t need them. It went perfectly. I woke and slept just when I was supposed to. Overall rating of the day: 7/10. Tada!

This era had a lot of awesome music. Not to mention dance… That little thing at the beginning with the feet? Genius.

Uberman Update Four

29 Jul

I had the most vivid dream and my head is spinning. This has never happened to me before. I think it’d be more accurate to say that the contents of my head are spinning; spinning like something a little thinner than the consistency of stew… Anyway.

It was around the time I woke up from my 08:00 nap – 08:30, now – and looking about the way it did then. Violently dark. The sun that leered around the clouds was everything functional and nothing essential. There was no happiness in the way it shined and no benevolent feeling from the little warmth that reached down from the skies- just a pale light like a halogen bulb reaching its end.

Not much happened for a while. This was one of those dreams that so closely parallels real life that you don’t realise until you wake up that it wasn’t, so I was in my room for a while, passing time just like I do between naps.

There were three major events in the dream, all in quick succession- Starting with when I left my room and noticed that Aidan had set the shower on fire again* by staying in too long. There was smoke billowing out into the hallway from the bathroom that suddenly seemed a lot bigger than I remembered, and though I couldn’t see him, I knew Aidan was inside, trying to salvage what little he could.

As I proceeded down the hallway, the second event soon hit me. I was late for driving lessons! I looked out the window to check the weather and saw the third event. I remember shrugging and pulling on a coat, which will be hilariously funny when you know what the third event is. Anyway, for some reason, me taking driving lessons meant that I drove to the lessons, too. Which doesn’t make a whit of sense to me now.

As I was driving, I saw the third event on the horizon. There were actually two of them, the storm warning on the radio told us. Hurricanes. (Thinking back, this is actually the second time in the past few naps I’ve dreamed of tornados and hurricanes and twisters and that sort of thing.) I saw them both and was not worried in the slightest, though the car was being rocked and lifted off its wheels.

My alarm woke me before things went any further, but Id’ve liked to have been dreaming for a while longer; I had this feeling of longing that lingered for a couple of hours after I awoke. Anyway, there’s your taste of dreamland. Anyone else have any interesting dreams lately?

*This was apparently a very frequent event.

Uberman Log, Day Eight, Part One

28 Jul

This is a half-day log. I might start doing them regularly. Anyway, I feel like this morning was significant enough to warrant a post.

I woke up from my 04:30, but that’s about all that can be said for that. Knowing I needed to stay awake, I made it loopily into the shower and stayed for a half hour or so until my sister needed to get in. (Whod’ve thought? I expected I wouldn’t get in anybody’s way if I got in at five thirty, but I guess not.)

I got out of the shower barely not falling asleep. And when I say barely, I really mean barely- only just becoming conscious that I’ve been drying my arm for a few minutes now and jerking out of it to the next part of my body, having microsleeps every few second, not remembering getting to my room and sitting down… It was crazy. I’d like to say now that I’m proud to have made it though with only a few concessions- the way the entire morning was going, it looked like I’d be in bed and oversleeping in seconds at any given time.

I sat down at my computer and attempted to play a game, because I know that usually keeps my brain occupied, but I just wasn’t into it enough for the engaging part of the game to take any affect. I don’t remember doing it, but I must have shut it and the music off at some point.

This is where is gets hazy. See, I know I was awake, because several identifiable events happened in the time period that I can remember, if hazily. The idea of it, though, is that I was too tired to function. Luckily, I did function just enough to maintain the nap schedule. However, the times in between can hardly be called being awake- so I’m worried about how this will affect me.

I’m not really sure what happened from then on until 09:00, when my 08:30 nap finished up (see Notes). Then I became conscious, if not very. I started trying to get things done not for the sake of getting things done but just so I might stay awake.

It didn’t work very well, but I guess it did eventually work. It’s weird, though; there’s an entire section of my life that has just essentially disappeared due to sleep loss… I suppose that isn’t very different from the time monophasers lose sleeping, though. (… It’s still unsettling.) Fun fact: Did you know that every four days, I gain at least a full day on y’all? And this is with the generous estimate of three hours of sleep a day for me; I’m normally getting even less. Or should I say I’m getting more awake time?

Anyway, things proceeded normally. Normally referring to how this morning went; sleepily and barely remembering things. Luckily, it got better as time goes on, and I got more and more alert, not to mention cognisant.

My nap at noon was good; I awoke in time and managed it well, and when I did, I felt refreshed. Zoom out a bit to the big picture- from what little data I have right now, it appears that my day ends around four in the morning and starts between eight and twelve noon. I still have to work on that, but I think diligence is my only option.

Notes: The reason the times might seem messed up is that back when I thought it would help, I set my alarms at one, five, and nine – a full hour after I actually went to sleep. Luckily, I started going to bed late right around the time that I figured out that hourlong naps would not help me, only mess up my schedule- so now I have alarms set for slightly before twelve, four, and eight to tell me to go to sleep, and I make it into bed at roughly twelve thirty, four thirty, and eight thirty. I will have to change this if I intend to make the schedule work for school- but all I’ll have to do is move it back to what I intended, or possibly a few minutes earlier.

I guess that’s it for now. I just wanted to give you all a small update and see how that worked instead of the bigger ones.

Uberman Log, Day Seven

28 Jul

Right, well, I’m doing this at the very end of today, so who knows how my memory is going to be. I think I might do alright, though.

37. Nap one: 6/10. My plan worked perfectly. Of course, you probably don’t know about my plan. Let me take a minute to explain. Here, I’ll blockquote it to separate it from the rest of the stuff.

So, as you all very obviously know by now (or so say the thirty-five comments and one hundred eighty-eight views in a day), I was having quite a bit of trouble waking up from the first nap of the day at 04:00. (Quick review: I think this is because my schedule changed to be something closer to the Everyman.)

This problem has now been solved, proof pending (in approximately two hours at the writing of these words, 02:02 28/7/10). I used the Alarm Clock program I downloaded to set alarms at 05:00 – when I’m supposed to get up – 05:05, 05:10, 05:15, and so on, up to around 05:30. It might seem overkill, but I want to annoy the heck out of my subconscious. Also, preparing for the possibility that I might just yank the speaker cord, I turned the volume all the way up on my laptop before I plugged the speakers in (it retains two volumes, one being with the sound output jack used, the other without).

So far, this seems to have worked- I’ve been getting up successfully. Or is it just that I’ve gotten up successfully once? To be honest, I’m not really sure; but then again this entire process is all about problem-solving by trial and error. If I mess up again, I’ll deal with it and adjust the alarm so that whatever happened won’t happen again. (If I do say so myself, though, the system looks pretty foolproof so far. Famous last words, I know, but it does.)

Cycle one: 3/10. Mostly because of the fact that it was just spent catching up on communication and waiting for the next nap, which I thought would wake me up more. (I’m trying to keep these short. Like I said, you really don’t need to and likely don’t want to know the myriad details of my life.)

38. Nap two: 4/10. Okay in terms of both sleep and waking up, but it didn’t get me as alert as I’d counted on it doing in the last cycle. Disappointing.

Cycle two: 4/10. A little better than the last- like I said, slightly more alert, but not as alert as I’d thought I would be. The disappointment carried through and I spent much of this just waiting for the next nap, too. (Still keepin’ it short.)

39. Nap three: 7/10. Finally woke up like I wanted to. Energised and ready, hooray!

Cycle three: 6/10. I don’t remember that much of it, but it was enjoyable. Unexpectedly went into Juliet‘s radio station. That was fun, but made for the next number you’ll see. Other than forty. That’s not the right number. … I’ll just be quiet now. (Short.)

40. Nap four: 0 or 10/10, depending on how you view things. -frowns- Anyway, it didn’t exist. So nevermind.

Cycle four: 8/10. Slightly loopy from the sleep deprivation… It got progressively worse as time went on, but ‘worse’ just meant that near the end my eyes would start closing by themselves very gently. This is so high-rated because for one, I had an awesome conversation with Juliet in the car on the way home about relationships and crushes and people and psychology and such, and for two, I survived, and did it quite well, too, if I do say so myself. I’m going to go ahead and make this less short just so I can point out the fact that

Missing the nap wasn’t as horribly bad as other people have predicted it would be. I’ve heard horror story after horror story in my research about how you absolutely CANNOT skip naps, or – even more dire and with greater consequences – you can’t move them either, AHHH! But really, the only thing I felt as I headed further into skipping-land was a kind of gentle pressure, as if from my conscience.

‘Go take a nap now…’
‘No, I can’t…’
‘Well, you should…’
‘I know, I’m sorry; I chose social life over sleep…’
‘… Well, as long as you know you made the wrong decision…’

It was exceedingly gentle and actually very pleasant. I would do it again at some point, if it weren’t for the fact that I know skipping is bad, and I believe I’m suffering now for it. It’s a possibility for the reason, anyway.

41. Nap five: 7/10. I will admit- I may have started groaning in pleasure as I melted into my bed. I imagine that’s how my next nap (the first nap of tomorrow) is going to feel, too; I’m sort of physically tired as well as the normal weariness. Perhaps an effect of skipping the nap? Anyway, I slept like someone had given me a tranquiliser and got up like someone was frying bacon. A little eye-rubbing, but I felt fine and still do right now. Quality.

Cycle five: 5/10. When I woke up, I was pretty disoriented- I was waking up at the right time, but I’d been sleeping for about an hour, instead of my normal thirty minutes or less. The feeling I got here was also very gentle, but funny in a different way; almost scary, to tell the truth. Pushing in the back of my mind to get free was the suspicion that I had accidentally slept an entire twenty-four hours to get up at this time. The feeling that I had slept a monstrous amount of time always comes after these naps, but it seemed somewhere near exponentially proportionate with the time of my nap.

42. Nap six: 5/10. Went well, as naps go- I got sleep, I woke up. The cool thing was that I woke up trying to turn off my alarm. That is, I got down to my computer and likely would have dealt with things then ascended to my loft again, but the confusion of how to turn it off (and multiple alarms suddenly ringing as a backup; I’m glad I thought of that) woke me up enough to get me to stay.

Cycle six: 7/10. Again, really hungry about now… Early in the cycle, I had some chicken salad from Powers (owned and operated by my aunt, while Pangaea just across the street is by my uncle) and a few chips. Late in the cycle, I remembered just how much I’d missed Anna, who stayed up with me all the way to my 04:30 nap.

Notes: Someone put this exactly the way I’ve been thinking:

The fact that I will now have almost contiguous hours to fill is starting to form meaning in my head, and it’s daunting. It’s an entire change of my view of the world and time and schedules—for example, no longer will I shower when I awake; instead I will shower when I am dirty. No longer will I give up on a problem for the night, to return to it tomorrow; instead I will move on to a different problem and tackle the challenging one when a solution presents itself more clearly. No longer will I care about whether some event is “early in the morning”; instead I will care if that event interrupts my microsleep schedule.

He’s got a point, and a very good one at that. Another great quote:

Time is meaningless to me now. Imagine I were to tell you that the temperature is 226K. You might know that this is the temperature measured in kelvins, and given some time you will be able to work out how to convert it to a unit you understand, but as-is it’s meaningless to you (in general). That’s how I feel now when someone tells me that it’s noon on Thursday; I can count the phases and map my to-do list onto the world’s calendar and eventually come up with what it means for it to be noon on Thursday, but it has lost all intrinsic value.

Sorry this is late, y’all! For some reason I didn’t finish it last night like I said I would. Or rather, I all but finished it and forgot to post it – it was finished, it just would have taken a minute or two of fine-tuning to be ready to post, and I just didn’t do that. But nevermind that; it’s here now.


26 Jul

Okay, I’ll make this as short and specific as possible. This isn’t working. Or, rather, it is mostly, but my body still wants to follow the Everyman, as I mentioned in the last post. I think that that’s because of the way I tried and failed to ease into this, but no matter the reason, now, I need a solution.

The facts:

  1. I will not give up. Not only have I put too much time and effort into this already, it would also be insulting to me to just let go on this project of mine. So know that that’s not an option.
  2. I am now good at napping quickly. I can sleep for thirty minutes and have refreshed my first ‘battery’ or ‘energy tank’.
  3. Every day around four, though, my energy stores fail, along with the very first nap of the day- I oversleep in a number of ways due to a lack of consciousness (this morning I woke up on the floor) or if I do make it I feel like a steamroller’s been over me until at least the next nap.
  4. All I have to do to make it is presumably get used to the 04:00 nap so that my body doesn’t think it’s rest time- for a few days, at least.

Today is a break- because I so thoroughly messed it up in the morning, I’m not really on the schedule. I’m going to be napping to try to keep some momentum, but I need to be planning, primarily.

That said, what do you think my options are? I need ideas for alarms and coping strategies. What works best to get you up, especially when you haven’t been sleeping much? Is there anything I can replicate in my experience? How about my current situation; is there anything you’d do to improve it?

Thanks in advance. Feel free to ask questions.