Tag Archives: thoughts

Tart

26 Jan

Cranberry juice, bitches.

I love the little swirlies you get when you put ice in your glass.

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Lover, Lover, Lover

25 Jan

I’ve started to cry. When I read a story, or watch a movie… When it gets emotional, I cry. I never used to do that. I think it might be good, but there’s at least a possibility that it’s not. What if it’s just because I’m fragile? What if it’s not that I’m opening my mind; becoming more imaginative?

(Duele no tenerte cerca)

Why does this have to be? More unanswerable questions. I just can never quite tell when you’re telling the truth or when you’re protecting me… When you’ll be okay or when I’ll hurt you. Everything blurs together. It’s just one dilemma after another.

(Duele no escuchar tu voz)

I have to fill in the blanks. Make the pieces fit together. Once everything sticks things will be okay, and I can see that now, and that’s progress, I suppose.

(Duele respirar tu ausencia, pero…)

All I want to do is make you happy. Make everyone happy. Why can’t I do both at the same time? Why isn’t there enough for that?

(Duele más decirte adiós)

Heat Transfer

7 Sep

Life is so beautiful, sometimes. The fan that made me bleed is running right next to my head and there is a cricket and wind and lightning and I want to run all the way to your house just to show you this. Take you outside and kiss you and then leave, and you would be bleary-eyed and the wind is warm, love, and the lightning is bright, but it’s not here. Something went wrong in the line of things going wrong and suddenly there’s just one moment that’s right.

These are the nights we live, darling; these are the nights we die within ourselves and we fall asleep and rise up entirely new people.

In other news, I was thinking about you. I don’t want you fighting too hard for me. I’m not a good prize. Not good enough for you.

I’ll Just Post It Here

30 Jul

A magnetic poem

Not necessarily about today. It could be. It could not be.

Uberman Update Five

30 Jul

Two important notes:

  1. Gaming is ruining my life. I will no longer play unless at least one if not both of these qualifiers have been met:
    1. If it is two in the morning or something similar and I will sleep if my brain is not engaged with cheap entertainment.
    2. More importantly, if I have done something productive during the cycle and have more than a half hour left of free time.
    3. Scratch that, three qualifiers: If I have both showered and, if not exercised, at least made an effort or a plan to do so in the near future.
  2. This may not be working. I know when to cut my losses, and I can be healthy, despite some people’s doubts. I do know what I’m doing, guys. And if trust in that fails you, know that my body knows what it’s doing for certain. If I actually need sleep – in the real sense of the word – my body will sleep. I can’t train it out of that. This is only mildly successful because my body is tolerating my escapades so far. If it doesn’t anymore, I’ll stop. Say… In the space of three or four weeks, I must have a full fifteen naps in a row – two and a half days, or sixty hours – go perfectly.

I haven’t been keeping logs today- I’ll try to do them later, but I’m going out for a college visit in a few seconds. Ta!

Uberman Log, Day Nine

30 Jul

And by the way, I’m definitely not doing half-day posts. (For the record: Yesterday’s latter half was uneventful.) It’s nice for getting a post out at the end of the day – the same day that I post it on (the daylong buffer has always gotten to me) – but for some reason I don’t like doing the followup as much as I like doing the first part, and overall, I like doing them together much better.

As for logs for yesterday: You don’t need them. It went perfectly. I woke and slept just when I was supposed to. Overall rating of the day: 7/10. Tada!


This era had a lot of awesome music. Not to mention dance… That little thing at the beginning with the feet? Genius.

Uberman Update Four

29 Jul

I had the most vivid dream and my head is spinning. This has never happened to me before. I think it’d be more accurate to say that the contents of my head are spinning; spinning like something a little thinner than the consistency of stew… Anyway.

It was around the time I woke up from my 08:00 nap – 08:30, now – and looking about the way it did then. Violently dark. The sun that leered around the clouds was everything functional and nothing essential. There was no happiness in the way it shined and no benevolent feeling from the little warmth that reached down from the skies- just a pale light like a halogen bulb reaching its end.

Not much happened for a while. This was one of those dreams that so closely parallels real life that you don’t realise until you wake up that it wasn’t, so I was in my room for a while, passing time just like I do between naps.

There were three major events in the dream, all in quick succession- Starting with when I left my room and noticed that Aidan had set the shower on fire again* by staying in too long. There was smoke billowing out into the hallway from the bathroom that suddenly seemed a lot bigger than I remembered, and though I couldn’t see him, I knew Aidan was inside, trying to salvage what little he could.

As I proceeded down the hallway, the second event soon hit me. I was late for driving lessons! I looked out the window to check the weather and saw the third event. I remember shrugging and pulling on a coat, which will be hilariously funny when you know what the third event is. Anyway, for some reason, me taking driving lessons meant that I drove to the lessons, too. Which doesn’t make a whit of sense to me now.

As I was driving, I saw the third event on the horizon. There were actually two of them, the storm warning on the radio told us. Hurricanes. (Thinking back, this is actually the second time in the past few naps I’ve dreamed of tornados and hurricanes and twisters and that sort of thing.) I saw them both and was not worried in the slightest, though the car was being rocked and lifted off its wheels.

My alarm woke me before things went any further, but Id’ve liked to have been dreaming for a while longer; I had this feeling of longing that lingered for a couple of hours after I awoke. Anyway, there’s your taste of dreamland. Anyone else have any interesting dreams lately?

*This was apparently a very frequent event.